the age thing..dating younger?

Back when the spouse emeritus and I had first come to the conclusion that our days together were drawing to a close, she said something along the lines of "It'll be easy for you, there are so many more single women these days..you'll be out there dating away before very long".

"And you know, it really isn't fair at all" she said.  "Your pool of available dates will be so much larger....You can easily date as young as 35.  "Women my age"?  "We have to start looking at guys up to 10 years older because of all the men who date younger".

Now, my initial reaction to this discussion was that I really didn't think I would be dating anytime soon and that the prospect of dating younger seemed ridiculous.  At least it did for me.

And by younger, let's set that parameter as thirty five to forty.  Below that seems a stretch, even if the adage that "half your age plus seven" is the lowest limit of one's accepted date-ability age range.  By that one I am apparently not in dirty old man territory as long as the women are at least 33.5 years old.

The other one I know says your age less fifteen years is fine, which puts me at a lowest limit of 38.  So let's split the difference and define "young" as my age goes as anywhere from 35 to 40, with 40 and up being more respectable and below 35 just plain wrong. 

That cleared up..here is why I was skeptical of the spouse emeritus' original assertion.

I work in a young industry and while I enjoy the energy and creativity of those younger than I (virtually everyone in my business), it is more than apparent that our cultural milestones involve an age divide that it is sometimes hard to bridge.

I notice this mostly as goes musical taste but it extends to just about everything.  Mention just about any event from one's relative youth and the most common rejoinder is "Wow...I was in public school when that happened".  Or the even worse "I wasn't even born then!".

And then there is the matter of appearing date-worthy to a younger skew.

Now my peers in years usually express amazement that i am indeed 53 ( a genetic thing as it certainly wasn't clean living that did that..my twenties can best be described as an experiment in enhanced living through chemistry).

But anyone under 40 generally just nods at my answer.

Attend a younger event and you will get a taste of this.  To those significantly less long in the tooth than ourselves (under 35),  we fifty-somethings appear every bit our age in comparison, and worse, become somewhat invisible.

So getting a younger women's attention?  A daunting challenge at best, let alone actually gathering up the gumption to arranging a date. And  I say this knowing I am reasonably well preserved, relatively stylish and if not ruggedly handsome, at least attractive to some.

As for the "gumption" thing..well..I am a bit shy at first and always have been.  In my youth I was a working musician which pretty much eliminated the need to be all that garrulous as far as meeting girls went.  I still play but have seen no evidence of that being a weapon in the arsenal of attraction at this point in my life...more's the pity.

By the way, the "attractive to some" statement is neither a knock on the spouse emeritus' taste in men or a boastful figment of my ego.  Can't have people thinking she just "settled".   I did marry "up" as go looks but I have seen bigger divides.  At least I think I have.  That may indeed be the ego talking. 

As for the truly important stuff?  Yes, she could have done better, but that is true of virtually all the paired off women I know in some way or another.  Thank god for the diversity of causality as to why women might find us men attractive.

By the way....I am suddenly cognizant that I am guilty of setting a lower limit of date age appropriateness but not an upper range.  By all logic having set a lower number some 18 years younger than my age, I should consider that absolutely fine for a woman as well.

Which would mean that i should be open to hearing from seventy-one year old women.

Hmmm..need to re-think those equations.