Male urban based "fingleton"s (50-ish and newly single) soon come across an interesting thing when perusing dating profiles. The on-line profiles of the urban based female contain myriad commonalities as far as past times and passions go.
And these commonalities are so prevalent that one might be tempted to think there are an awful lot of people out there living essentially the same life.
So what is going on here?
The answer?
Coding.
That very same phenomena that has web folk seeding on-line copy with keywords and phrases to improve their positioning in web searches appears to have seeped into the on-line dating world via osmosis but with with a twist.
My guess is that these keywords have more to do with repelling inappropriate suitors than attracting a wider net of the aspiring.
At least that is my theory as to why "yoga" is the word i see most often when pouring over profiles.
Not that yoga is a bad thing...after all it says I am serious about my physical and spiritual well-being, that I am willing and committed to make time for detoxing my body and soul and that by extension....you should too.
I wonder though if this word delivers that message in the way we men of a certain age are meant to understand it. And by "we", I mean me.
The thing is, that while many men I know (including myself) have tried yoga..most of us don't stick with it. We're also not (in general) very pro-active on spiritual well-being.
We try yoga because our backs hurt and understand it to be a lower impact workout. We are looking (mistakenly) for an easier way to cure what ails us.
We also enjoy rooms full of women in yoga gear.
As for the spiritual element? Aside from the aforementioned "women in yoga gear" comment, the spiritual aspect of yoga's benefits escape many of us (and again by "us"...I mean mostly me).
Which is not to say that we don't feel something akin to spiritual well-being. It's just that we are generally made aware of a purpose to it all via a favourite sporting teams success, a guitar hero's amazing solo or an unexplainable series of green lights all the home during a commute.
The good news?
We are not immune to the appeal of what women may be trying to convey but we have our own set of keywords and code for the same.
What you might be trying to say via the word yoga, we might say by expressing a dedication to regular gym visits and time spent outdoors (even if those gym visits are not exactly regular and our idea of roughing it is not having wi-fi access).
I cannot say the same however about my brethren's reaction to the words "salsa dancing".
Or "exotic travel" for that matter.
Those just plain scare the shit out of us.
Musings of a male "Fingleton"....50 plus and single again.
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Want to start by saying you're a damn good writer and an entertaining, informative one at that! Have been reading all your entries and found something in this one enlightening, exotic travel. I can't speak for others, only myself obviously. Yeah, travel is a huge part of my life and became so about 10 years ago when I started to figure out that finding a partner who added some positivity rather than robbing it was becoming an exercise in futility. So I packed my backpack deciding to fulfill a long forgotten dream to see Europe by train. Terrified can't begin to describe how I felt launching myself into the unknown alien world of diverse languages and unknown terrain without cellphone or friend by my side. But something strange and unexpected happened: amidst all my angst (and god, it was substantial!) were these flutterings of joy gurgling up from deep places. I felt so bloody free for the first time my life! It is the joy that keeps me going. The sense of freedom has closed in somewhat, and the world seems a smaller place. But joy, that is inexplicable when rounding a corner to an unexpected vista, engaging in a conversation with locals that inspires, or participating in the old ways of small villages and seeing the pride in the faces of those who have felt dismissed and outdated. Nothing is exotic; they are just different experiences between lives lived differently despite the impetus.
ReplyDeleteI will continue to read your posts; they are darn insightful and provide a small look into another's wide world of experience. Thank you for writing! :)
Strengthens the immune system
ReplyDeleteThe human being is a perfect combination of body, mind and spirit. An irregularity at the physical level affects the mental plane. In the same way, any restlessness present in the mind can manifest itself as a disease in the body. Yoga postures not only massage the different organs of the body, but also strengthen the muscular system. In addition, breathing techniques and pranayamas help release stress, which results in an improvement in the immune system, scientifically proven.